Working with your soul’s pantry is not just understanding what’s in your pantry—what you’re here to cook with and create in this lifetime—but also what replenishes it. For me, it’s spending time in communities of women. What is it for you?
Spending time with my communities is a way of tending to them. I’ve written about how communities form, how to host gatherings as portals for community, and the energetic profit that comes from them. What maintains community is continuing to show up. This is also a practice, I’ve found, that fills my soul’s pantry, reenergizing myself and reminding me what I’m here for.
When I quit my job at Meta in 2021, one of the things I wanted to do was visit my friends where they are. I’ve just returned from a trip to California where I did just that. I’ll share the template of the trip here. I’d love to hear what resonates with you.
5 tactics for showing up for your friends and yourself as you travel
Pick an anchor. I build my trips around an event, a central reason to be in that place and time. I planned my recent trip to the Bay Area to be there at the same time as my friend Jordan, who was visiting from her home in Bali. I was thrilled to be able to see her across the country rather than across the world.
Plan group and 1:1 time. I made a list of all the women I wanted to see. Some of these women are part of broader communities, like my mom-friends whose sons grew up with my son, my friends I met on yoga retreats, and women I worked with at Meta. I planned time with these groups in locations that were convenient for them: brunch in San Carlos with the moms, yoga and dinner across the street from the studio my yoga friends all go to in the Marina, and dinner near the Meta office for the work friends. I spent time 1:1 with the women who were hosting me, on their local hikes and at family dinners. I scheduled time to see friends I had different relationships with apart from these groups around our shared interests: an art museum, a new restaurant. In each instance, what we did together was simple: hang out, share stories, listen, be present, enjoy life together.
Leave space for spontaneity. I left some time unscheduled, and was so glad I did: My friend Liza was initially planning to be elsewhere during my visit but her plans changed at the last minute, and we were able to enjoy a lovely dinner together. I was initially planning to stay in a hotel in the middle of the week rather than with friends to have some alone time, but my friend Kristen offered the apartment her family had recently vacated—so I was able to enjoy some solitude and save my budget and explore a new neighborhood with her local recommendations.
Recharge with movement, nature, and downtime. I went to two community-connected movement classes during the week: a Hot Barre Sculpt class my friend Andrea taught in Scotts Valley, and a yoga class at the Pad in the Marina taught by the yoga teacher who hosted the retreats where I met my yoga friends. In every neighborhood, I went on local hikes, and did plenty of city-wandering by myself. I also love being in and near water, so I took the recommendation of my friend Ginny and booked time for hot and cold plunge and sauna at the Spa Kabuki, and I rode the Larkspur ferry back to SF after Jordan’s oyster party in Tomales Bay.
Thank your hosts. I make my own stationery, and before I left I chose cards for each of my hosts. I brought a few gifts from a local store where I live in New York, and found the rest in my travels. I left hand-written notes and a gift in each home where I stayed, thanking my hosts for their hospitality and appreciating the moments we shared together.
With these tactics, I was able to spend quality time with more than a dozen friends from multiple communities in the same geographic region, to explore new facets of a place I feel connected to, and to recharge myself with new experiences and solo time.
Share this post